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Everyone's Talking About 'Pick-Me' Girls—And Yep, Meredith Grey's Name Came Up

Here's everything to know about "pick-me" and the 'Grey's Anatomy' scene that started it all.

April 2, 2025

FACT CHECKED BY Alexa Mellardo

Meredith Grey from 'Grey's Anatomy' — Photo: Netflix/Facebook. Design: Celebwell

Grey's Anatomy fans know Meredith Grey and Derek "McDreamy" Shepherd's love story all too well. One of the most famous scenes in the series is when Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) tells Derek (Patrick Dempsey), "Pick me. Choose me. Love me," over his estranged wife, Addison Montgomery (Kate Walsh).

Meredith's full speech goes a little something like this. She professes her love to Derek in Season 2, telling him, "Your choice, it's simple. Her or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But Derek, I love you… in a really, really big, pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you."

Meredith Grey's "pick me" moment on the long-running medical drama launched an entire movement on TikTok. Specifically, it seemingly inspired a viral slang term: the "pick me girl."

What Exactly Is a "Pick-Me Girl?"

So, what is a "pick me girl?"

Actress Ellen Pompeo, who channels Dr. Meredith Grey in the ABC series, previously told Variety, "This is a real thing. My daughter and her friends, they sit around and they're like, 'Oh, she's a 'pick me girl.' I'm like, 'What's a pick me girl?' They were like, 'You know, girls who are like, 'Pick me, choose me!' And I'm like, 'Hello?! Do you know who invented the 'pick me girl'?"

Essentially, the term refers to a woman who tries to stand out from other women to gain male attention. The Urban Dictionary description reads, "A pick-me girl is a girl who seeks male validation by indirectly or directly insinuating that she is 'not like the other girls.'"

How "Pick Me" Is Being Used

@niki_patton
things that give off "pick me" energy | insta: niki_patton #pickme #pov #redflags #toxic #pickmegirl #pickmeboy #nikadvice #advice

♬ original sound – niki patton 💖

Now that we know where "pick me" came from, what behaviors define the term? TikTokers have a wide range of opinions.

TikTok user @niki_patton shared a few things that she believes exude major "pick me energy." She said, "Someone who is constantly putting themselves down just to get compliments from you… they will literally just put themselves down and wait for your response. The other thing is throwing other people under the bus … just generally putting other people down."

Another TikTok user @giaaldisert said a "pick me girl" is defined as such: "you love making it clear that you're 'all natural'" and "you suddenly love whatever the guy you're into loves."

TikToker @sarahklait joined in on the "pick me girl" train, too, with a POV video about "the pick me friend that acts weird around your boyfriend."

What Ellen Pompeo Really Thinks of That Scene

When recalling the popular MerDer scene in her Variety interview, Ellen revealed, "I fought that speech so hard. I was like, 'Why would I beg a man? I can't beg a man on TV, this is so embarrassing?' And then it turns out to be, like, one of the most successful scenes."

Meredith and Derek eventually end up in a long relationship together until Derek was killed off the show in Season 11.